When you’re Internet dating (or even sending someone you’ve just met an email) it can feel tricky to know what to say.

Common mistakes include sharing too much about yourself so you seem over keen, not saying enough so you don’t seem that interested, including so many questions you read like the Spanish Inquisition or writing in a way that seems like you are sending a stock email to loads of people.

To overcome these errors stick to the following…

Your opening email should be brief, chatty and friendly

Tell the person briefly why you’re getting in touch. For Internet dating you could say ‘I liked your profile because…’ and then describe what interested you about the person. If you’re emailing someone you’ve just met in person you could say how much you enjoyed seeing them and that you’d like to know a little more about them.

Rather than firing a load of questions at them you might say (for Internet dating) ‘your profile says you’re interested in_____’ and either add it’s something you’re into as well or ask them to tell you a little more about it.

Tell them a little more about yourself – your job, hobbies etc. If you’re Internet dating refer them to your profile.

End the message by saying you’d love to hear from them again. The first email shouldn’t be more than a paragraph or two at most and shouldn’t talk in detail about your feelings, hopes for a relationship or how much you want them.

Someone who is interested will reply and will initiate a conversation either with replies to your email or with some questions or comments of their own. If you decide to reply to their response again keep things short, friendly and chatty.

It can put people off if you suddenly ask someone out or reveal you’ve just come out of a long term relationship. Keep the personal stuff for later when you know them better.

After a few emails if you like the sound of them suggest a meeting and see what they say. It may be they want to share some more emails first, or they’ll hopefully be up for a date.