It is the right decision for you if you can't see a way forward staying in the fast lane facing endless traiffic where you are now.
Sounds like you have high standards and goals and aimed high - but you are overloaded with the stress of it :-(
Takae a breather and plan the next moves - your clear headed planning skills will help you decide where you want to go next to be the real Ben not M&S Ben.
Sincere good wishes to you for the future in all aspects of life , work and the persuit of happiness.
Last night, I told my friend from school. Was a bit odd, and not too awkard - less so than the first time anyway. And he inadvertedly led me in to the conversation as all night we had been talking life and loves, etc, and he kept talking around the me bit, and talking about non-gender specific things! Amusing in a way
Anyway, the lead in was something to do with talking about 'looking for a bird' So I said:
'Well, what if I'm not looking for a bird?'
'Oh, what do you mean? Not looking for a bird?! What? Do you mean....'
'Yep! That's it - I might be looking for a man!'
[look of disbelief]
'Tbh, I think I have always known, but you can't, you can't be gay.... Yeah, you like clothes and stuff, but you like cars and women...'
haha
Anyway, all good!
Next question was the same as the last time in terms of what had I done, and what did I do!
These straights, they all love a bit of homo-intrigue!!
We then got back to the 'if you give, then why not just fuck a woman?!'
We got round to the point that I like boys in the end! And he was totally cool with it, just asked why I had not told him sooner....although, he said he understood why I hadn;t done as well
Bizarrely, as well, both my friend last night and another mate who called me up, who I went to uni with are all so supportive of my job decision - it is quite a weird, and very liberatiing feeling....
Bit of a weird night out last night - with my two friends who are in 'the know.'
It felt quite stressful for me to be out with them. I guess this is because I am out of my confort zone with them
Some of this I guess is them wanting to know a bit more about the real me, as it were: there was talk of who I liked? Who I thought were the good looking ones, etc, etc And then talk of us all going on a gay night out at some point - esp as my best boy mate has a gay housemate, so he said I can go down there, and we can all go out together
I dunno why it feels as strange as it does: maybe it is the novelty for all of us. And also, for me, I am feeling a bit like I am experiencing stuff now that they all did in their teens, or when we were at uni, and I just feel a bit backward!
Also, any of my gay mates, and you guys on here, have all known me online (or as 'gay Ben') to begin with, so that made it easier to make the adjustment...
Bit of a weird night out last night - with my two friends who are in 'the know.'
It felt quite stressful for me to be out with them. I guess this is because I am out of my confort zone with them
Some of this I guess is them wanting to know a bit more about the real me, as it were: there was talk of who I liked? Who I thought were the good looking ones, etc, etc And then talk of us all going on a gay night out at some point - esp as my best boy mate has a gay housemate, so he said I can go down there, and we can all go out together
I dunno why it feels as strange as it does: maybe it is the novelty for all of us. And also, for me, I am feeling a bit like I am experiencing stuff now that they all did in their teens, or when we were at uni, and I just feel a bit backward!
I have exactly the same experience and feelings on this!!
Another thing that riled me is that we were talking about my male mate and his gf's relationship, and how after 6 years they seem to have hit a rocky patch, as they both want similar but different things out of life, and both of my friends alluded to gay relationships not being the same as straight ones, as the commitment isn't necessarily there. Was a really odd comment, and I think (tho it was a bit of a drunken haze) that some link to child-rearing was made :-/
This is what I reall don't like, is the being tarred with the homogenous brush
