This is do with Jocks thread, but I thought I'd write it seperate as too not bung it up with shit.
Back a few years ago I broke up someone and, a couple of weeks afterwards, we were still on the the 'break up friends' stage. She asked me If I was bothered about her, like her feelings, etc, and I, truthfully, said no. She seemed quite shocked and asked why, and I said that I was thinking about myself and my own future and feelings, not about hers. She seemed really shocked at this and called me selfish and I said I wasn't, I was just being honest. She said that she cared for me and would never be that selfish and that she wouldn't be able to go out with someone else for quite a long time. A couple of weeks later she was in a relationship with a guy and, last I heard, she was pregnant and still with him. Guess something must have changed her mind in those two weeks, also I wonder where she found the time to think about me when she was shagging that lad. I'm not being funny, because it didn't bother me at all, but why not just be a little more truthful? You break up and move on and really don't care about that person anymore. Why not just get it out in the open and move on to better things?
People talk about honesty, but then when they have it, they don't want it anymore. Weird.
In some cases after a relationship, men are in a lose-lose situation with regards to the ex:
If the man has not moved on, they need to except the fact their ex is not interested in them and maybe with someone else
If the man do not care about the ex and maybe with someone else, they are selfish pigs.
Sometimes it depends on the relationship. After one break-up, we stayed friends for a few months and it was only because others made it awkward for us that we did not stay friends.
The type of relationship you have with a person is likely to affect the feelings afterwards. If it was a medium/long-term and meaningful relationship, then there is likely to be feelings afterwards.
I'm not being funny, because it didn't bother me at all, but why not just be a little more truthful? You break up and move on and really don't care about that person anymore. Why not just get it out in the open and move on to better things?
People talk about honesty, but then when they have it, they don't want it anymore. Weird.
It's harder to tell the truth, hence why most people lie. It's easier to tell someone something you think they will want to hear rather than tell them the truth and hurt their feelings. While the person may want the truth and it'll do them better in the long run, it's easier to just tell them softly softly things so you don't feel guilty for hurting their feelings more than you already have by breaking up with them.
This is do with Jocks thread, but I thought I'd write it seperate as too not bung it up with shit.
Back a few years ago I broke up someone and, a couple of weeks afterwards, we were still on the the 'break up friends' stage. She asked me If I was bothered about her, like her feelings, etc, and I, truthfully, said no. She seemed quite shocked and asked why, and I said that I was thinking about myself and my own future and feelings, not about hers.
and quite right too in your last comment.
She is just dishing out the guilt and playing the mind games that people play to appease their own guilt. I think its about emotional maturity at the end of the day it should be easy if someone wants to break up by all means fight it at the time to adjust and make them want to stay but at least afterwards have the self worth to realise both of you deserve better and are worth more than a bad relationship.Animosity and resentment isnt worth it at the end of the day
I accept that it's hard to tell the truth as well. Nowadays when I break up with girls, I tell them to their face, then I leave one day, the day after I tell them, when I will reply to texts, answer phonecalls, etc. After that I don't reply to anything, literally. It saves me, and the girl, a load of bollocks and hassle.
One time I was having a laugh with one of my mates (then) GF mates, it got a bit flirty, but then she said 'I've got a BF, I can't', so i said 'fair enough, thanks for being upfront', and cooled off her for the rest of the night. I saw her a few weeks later and she had said she was surprised that I'd just cooled off like I did (I wasn't rude or stop talking to her or anything, just stopped the sexual part of it) and she had actually wanted me to come on to her more.
What looked like being a nice bit of honesty at the start, which i appreciated for not wasting my time, etc, was actually just another load of bollocks!! Ha ha. Girls and honesty, eh?
