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Talk / Sex / Dating / Re: ONS/sleeping with someone quickly

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By Apple, Tue 15 Jan at 9:44am 
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Well as it stands, I'm letting him initiate the contact (I've done so once in the past 3 weeks) and I try to just treat him as a friend. I deffo need more than that to be sure he likes me, and I certainly won't be doing any asking out.

I should say, J has been his best friend for about 5 years, and she sees him about 4 evenings a week, so to an extent her input can be trusted.

EDIT: One thing is contacting someone a few times a week to keep the chances of sex open, another thing is talking to them for 2 hours a night surely? The contact thing is the part which is most confusing.

Edited Tue 15 Jan at 9:49am

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Re: ONS/sleeping with someone quickly

By PGE, Tue 15 Jan at 9:47am 
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Just be careful Apple.

The reason you started this thread is because you have feelings for him. You can't turn that stuff 'off' just because to have feelings for him is inconvenient.

I think I said it before - men usually say what they mean. If he says he doesn't want a relationship, trust that he means it.

Edited Tue 15 Jan at 9:47am

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Re: ONS/sleeping with someone quickly

By Apple, Tue 15 Jan at 9:54am 
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Yeah you are very right. I am being very careful with him.

Peg have you been in a friends with benefits situation? What was the contact and general behaviour like?

Ahhh, I forgot to add. He is trying to get a job at my work (v. likely). How rubbish?

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Re: ONS/sleeping with someone quickly

By PGE, Tue 15 Jan at 1:25pm 
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Apple wrote:



Peg have you been in a friends with benefits situation? What was the contact and general behaviour like?

Ahhh, I forgot to add. He is trying to get a job at my work (v. likely). How rubbish?



I've never been in one to be honest. I'm not saying I've always only had sex in relationships but I've rarely had sex with someone who I'm not dating/seeing/involved with in some way. I prefer there to be feelings involved otherwise I just end up feeling bad.

The whole FWB thing smacks of scratching an itch with someone willing - and whilst there isn't anything wrong with that at all - it's just not my bag. I'd rather just go without (which i frequently do, obviously!). But that's my choice.

Will he end up working with you if he gets it?

Edited Tue 15 Jan at 1:27pm

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Re: ONS/sleeping with someone quickly

By Apple, Tue 15 Jan at 2:29pm 
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He'll be on the same floor as me. The position he has just missed was to be working directly with me (me training him), but the other position on offer is working vaguely nearby but not with. He has a very good chance of getting it.

It would mean he spends lots of his lunches with me and our friend.

Don't you think also, the contact I did receive from him would also be sexual in some way? We barely disuss anything along those lines.

Meh, I am not going to stress over it though. I do feel pretty OK about it.

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Re: ONS/sleeping with someone quickly

By PGE, Tue 15 Jan at 2:33pm 
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Apple wrote:



Don't you think also, the contact I did receive from him would also be sexual in some way? We barely disuss anything along those lines.



I honestly don't know. Maybe other people who have f*ck buddies on here will be in a better position to help!!

I'd assume that contact would be something in between sending a text saying "I want a fuck, some round in 20 minutes" and "I'm really missing you, I love you, please come and see me" :-D

Try not to read things into his behaviour though - we women analyse such things in too much detail I think. He is probably just going with the flow!

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Re: ONS/sleeping with someone quickly

By Wes, Tue 15 Jan at 2:34pm 
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Apple, you're a psycho. A pretty one. But still a psycho.

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Re: ONS/sleeping with someone quickly

By Apple, Tue 15 Jan at 2:39pm 
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I know I'm SO neurotic. Meh, better than I was though :)

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Re: ONS/sleeping with someone quickly

By PGE, Tue 15 Jan at 2:42pm 
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Apple wrote:

I know I'm SO neurotic.



I don't think you are. I think you are a normal woman who keeps on putting herself in difficult situations!

I'm very black and white about this stuff - we are either dating/seeing eachother or we are not. None of this in between crap!

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Re: ONS/sleeping with someone quickly

By Pip, Tue 15 Jan at 2:46pm 
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PGE wrote:

None of this in between crap!



you want to be in between me and cap?

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