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I need to stop the repeat performances and just stick to one nighters. I've had quite a few this month and not one of the one nighters has left me feeling down.
I am about ready for a new relationship, but they shit the life out of me so I end up being self destructive and fucking it up before it starts. My million and one big issues pop up. Maybe counselling is the way forward.
I took this to mean that you screw up relationships with guys you do want relationships with, as opposed to the guys you don't want relationships with i.e. the one nighters.
However this:
Apple wrote:
The problem is the ONS, getting drunk and using drugs are all getting me through the day to day. If I take that away I've not got a foggiest what I would do to cope.
is a different thing altogether. You seem to be saying that you are haunted by your past; that it does not just cause problems with potential LTRs; and that manic drinking, drug taking and fucking around are all an attempt to run away from it.
If this is the case then it seems you do need professional help to work things through. Dr P and Claudio and the others who have said this are right.
As a matter of interest, we know you had an LTR for 6+ years in your teens. How did you cope with the same issues through that?
As a matter of interest, we know you had an LTR for 6+ years in your teens. How did you cope with the same issues through that?
Thanks Mark. As for if the ONS are about me truly enjoying them (which I have to say I do and I don't ever regret them) or a matter of escapism- not sure. Not all escapism is negative- films, tv, books, music etc etc.
As for the above- well the LTR was the reason it stopped. But it was very raw at this stage and I didn't cope well.
I self harmed very frequently through out the relationship, but never took drugs or drank or (obviously) shagged about. I ran away from home, quit school and ended up attempting suicide before my parents sectioned me and I spent several years in counselling. I never told the psychiatrist what happened. Was also on various anti-depressants etc etc.
It's a shame if you are feeling attacked on here Apple.
If your GP is not sympathetic about this, ask to speak to someone else in the practice.
And if you want more information on what may happen within therapy feel free to ask - some site members have already been through it so can recommend it.
I'm sure I'm not speaking out of turn when I say we're all wishing you well, and are concerned about you.
Thank you- as I said totally over sensitive at the moment.
I have never spoken to anyone else who has been through anything remotely similar and not got a clue what therapy entails. Do you know?
I have never spoken to anyone else who has been through anything remotely similar and not got a clue what therapy entails. Do you know?
There are various models, and part of they key to success seems to be in the referral. I'm sketchy on the detail - you may need an initial referral through your GP, which would be a referral to a mental health service. If there is a problem with your GP, you might be able to get some advice from MIND.
TBH - if you have a problem with your GP about anything, I would suggest changing GP.
The problem at my doctors surgery is the main GP there is an absolute bitter twisted cow. If I go to one of the other doctors they end up checking with her over random things and she then buts in and makes snide comments.
Still, not many options left to exaust.
I meant also Claudio what process they go through in counselling. Do I just sit and spend hours talking about me me me? That's pretty much what it was like last time.
I meant also Claudio what process they go through in counselling. Do I just sit and spend hours talking about me me me? That's pretty much what it was like last time.
That's what I meant about there being different models - yes it will focus on you, but if may not have to be you talking all the time about the specific issue. Maybe somebody who has been through it might be able to share how they thought it was (although probably not on the site).
Apple, the team and I are concerned for your welfare. You've been very brave in this thread talking about what's happened, but we urge you now to take the next step and seek professional help.
You may not like your current GP, but there's plenty of others you could see. As for what therapy entails, there's plenty of methods to try and what happens is totally down to you.
We've talked previously about whether raising these issues on a public message is helping or not. The team's view is that it isn't. Over the last two years we've seen you grappling with various issues, only to have them die down and reappear again days or weeks later. Each time you seem more distressed than than the last. How is this helping you?
By continuing to post about all this you run the risk of delaying getting the professional help you need, feeling judged by fellow members, divulging sufficient personal information to be identified by someone reading this and, perversely, providing "entertainment" for lurkers.
You deserve better so we urge you to make an appointment to see a GP in the morning and explain to them what's been happening.
Apologies this message is public - we have a duty of care to ensure whoever reads this thread gets the same support.
