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Well I wasnt sure about it earlier but after reading what everyones said I'm definately going to give it ago. Nothing to lose!
DrPetra wrote:
You could go as our undercover Mansized reporter if you wish :-)
That sounds fun, what would you want me to report on though!?
Sometimes they run it that the girls sit at tables and the guys move round, or vice versa. It can be a good idea to take a mate along as it makes it a lot less stressful.
I'll try to see if anyone else wants to go too, although I think I'd be happy doing it alone. If I did take a friend would they have to join in too?
If you've any specific questions about the event please ask.
I think I get the gist of it; it says 4 minute dates and then a minute to write down on your card weather you like'd them or not then guyts move tables. Then after the official speed dating ends you can stay for drinks etc. I think there may be a break halfway through too. Is that pretty much it or is there more to it?
Have you any advice? Ie ideas for things to say that arent the usual ; hi, where you from, what do youy do then leading on from there.
@ Peg; the guys that impressed you when you went, apart from looks what was it that made them stand out? Ie any tips?
Hey Richy
If you go as our Mansized undercover reporter you can report back things like what went on, how you felt, and also notice how other guys acted. Were there any blokes making a complete fool out of themselves? (not you obviously) - what kind of approaches did the women seem to go for? That kind of thing.
You don't have to take a mate. If a friend comes with they could join in, but may be able to sit it out - although that might make them and those at the event feel a bit awkward (and you also, it might feel like you've got your minder/babysitter with you!). If you've a friend who'd also like to try it then go together for moral support. Going on your own's okay since you can be a bit more confident if you've not got mates around you to check up on how you're doing :-)
The event you describe sounds standard. You'll probably have a bit of time at the start when everyone stands around looking a bit shy and having a drink. Then they'll organise you so the ladies are all sitting at tables then you guys sit and chat to them. As mentioned, after a time limit you move to the next person.
If it's a good event they'll provide spaces between tables so you won't be evesdropping on other conversations. It also means the person you were just chatting up doesn't have to hear you chatting up the next one in the chain.
Some events have a break for refeshments in the middle or at the end, others just focus on the chatting bit. Sometimes they get you to complete a form at the end to say who you like, but it's probably better they get you to do it after you've just spoken to someone so you can still remember faces/names. They may ask if you want to see the person as a friend or potential date, or just a date only. After that they'll work out who picked each other. So if you picked the third lady you talked to and she also thought you were a hottie then you'll be told this and can get to know each other better - either that evening or at a later date you arrange.
Four minutes doesn't give you much time to say a lot, but it gives you enough time to see if you find the person physically attractive and you like the sound of them based on the conversation you have.
Everyone is going to feel self concious and a bit daft, so don't worry about that.
What this isn't is a job interview. So I'd avoid questions like 'how did you get here this evening' or 'tell me a little about yourself' as this could just seem a bit dull. I'd also avoid anything too personal, too soon. You don't need to ask (nor tell) about previous relationships, ex partners, whether someone has kids or not (or wants kids or not), or how you are looking for love. It's taken for granted everyone in the room is after some kind of relationship, so just enjoy the experience of meeting lots of new friends.
It's tempting to come up with some quirky lines or clever chat, but in the heat of the moment you could forget your fantastic one liner and get flustered or anxious. Instead I'd think about some key things you'd like someone to know about you. For example any interesting hobbies you might have, or what you enjoy doing in your spare time. Obviously it's not a good idea to list porn as either your hobby or your favourite passtime - even if it is ;-)
Because you'll be moving to speak to a different woman every few minutes you'll begin with a 'hello' and 'how are you?'. Then it's time to swap names and then she may ask you what you do for a living. Usually after a few pleasantaries the conversation should flow. But if it doesn't, ask her what she'd like to talk about. Or see if she's there with any friends (be careful how you ask this - don't say 'did you come here alone?'!!). If you can offer her a compliment then do so, but only if it's genuine and only if you're out of earshot from someone you've just paid a compliment to otherwise it'll seem like you're just using a line on everyone you meet.
Us girls love to chat (can't you tell by this reply) so probably you'll just sit there while she tells you all about her hobbies, family, pets, friend who she's just fallen out with, and shoes. All you have to do is look interested.
The main thing is not to worry if conversations don't always work. There will be some people who'll be easier to talk to than others. Don't be afraid to let things just happen - you don't have to fill any silences. It's better just to be yourself than try and put on an act.
If you are put in touch with someone you do fancy then it's fine to continue a chat that evening. If more than one person picks you as someone they like then briefly chat to each person and get their details so you can go on a few dates. It might feel a bit weird doing this with other ladies who like you around, but it may also feel pretty damn good!
After that, it's up to you. You may find meeting them again may not go anywhere, or it might lead to romance. Part of the excitement of events like this is you know people there are looking to connect, it's just a case to see who picks who.
And if you don't get lucky, don't worry, it's just one thing to try. But I'm pretty sure you'll be fine.
Good luck and looking forward to hearing how you get on.
I especially liked your porn comment! had me giggling to myself a bit!
I booked it earlier; its 2 weeks on Friday at a local club (before the club opens obviously!). Looking forward to it; even though I'll proably be nervous everyone will be the same and it should be good fun once I relax and its something I've always been curious about, so I will report back on it all here.
Hope its a good event; cost £22 (dunno if thats pretty standard)
@ Peg; the guys that impressed you when you went, apart from looks what was it that made them stand out? Ie any tips?
Well it was a while ago, but to be honest it was just people who were natural, chatty and witty. I like a bit of banter!
People who didn't impress me were those who just listed their achievements like it matters "I'm x, I work at x, I've got a PHD and speak 7 languages - what about you?".
Also don't get too drunk - if a bloke was visibly hammered/slurring then that would put me right off.
It's a really good laugh, although by the time you reach the last few your beer goggles are probably well and truly on! :-D
Go for it! It's not desperate at all - believe me, there were some gorgeous girls at the events I went to.
Just don't have a practised "this is me, this is what I do, blah blah" line - there is nothing worse than that. Just chat naturally!
I have just realised that the event I booked is actually 2 for 1, so I may be able to take a friend if they are nice and let me alter my booking.
Would you say it was better when you went alone or with friends??? I am inclined to go alone because I think even thoughh I will be more nervous, I will be more genuine and wouldnt spend time in the breaks just taking to my mate. Also it would be weird if we both liked the same girls.
Another random q; did you get anywhere at the events; ie did you get any matches?
Cheers Peg
I am quite excited about it all ( not for 2 weeks tho)
Would you say it was better when you went alone or with friends??? I am inclined to go alone because I think even thoughh I will be more nervous, I will be more genuine and wouldnt spend time in the breaks just taking to my mate. Also it would be weird if we both liked the same girls.
Another random q; did you get anywhere at the events; ie did you get any matches?
Cheers Peg
I am quite excited about it all ( not for 2 weeks tho)
Richy
I think I probably did better when I was alone. Like you say, what if you like the same girl and she ticks both of you?! That could cause problems.
I'm quite picky but got matched with 2 blokes at each event (that's when you tick them and they tick you). I went on dates with three of the four if I remember correctly! Don't know what happened to the other bloke - he probably just didn't email me after the event. Some people go with no real intention of taking anything further!
