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Carlin was hailed for his commentary, observations of the absurdities of everyday life, and routines like "Seven Words You Can Never Use on Television."
If there is one man that has an absolute zero chance of going to heaven.
This is him.
Legend.
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
-- George Carlin
I've begun worshipping the Sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the Sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to God are all answered at about the same 50-percent rate.
-- George Carlin
In the Bullshit Department, a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman. 'Cause I gotta tell you the truth, folks. When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told.
Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you.
He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!
-- George Carlin Politically Incorrect, May 29, 1997
I can't believe only one person (God bless you SB) has commented on this. When Heath Ledger died, we had about 90 people talking about how talented he was. True Heath was talented. But George Carlin was a legend.
I was a fan for a while. I just loved how an old guy could say so many swear words. I was shocked at first, but then when I listened, I realised how intelligent and most of all hilariously funny the guy was.
If there is a big guy, Carlin will be meeting him. If there's a hell, then he'll be on a express lift down there. He always ripped religion to shreds.
For people who never saw his stand ups, you will have come across George Carlin in the Simpsons, a few Kevin Smith films and probably loads others I can't remember.
I had never heard of the name but I vagually remember him somewhere (I have never been a big fan of stand-up comedy).
Btw, I had never heard of Heath Ledge myself until it was on front pages of papers. Shame it is the sudden or drug-related celebrity deaths that make it to front page in the media far more often than natural deaths.
“The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings
but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger
houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have
more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more
experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too
little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too
tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk
too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years
to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and
back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour.
We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things,
but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the
atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan
more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We
build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies
than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and
small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are
the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken
homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway
morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do
everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is
much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when
technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can
choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones because they are not
going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe,
because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is
the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a
cent.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones,
but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it
comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person
will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and
give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
moments that take our breath away.”
