I completely understand Gahoo. BUT just because you feel that way doesn't mean you are right and others should follow your view point.
In that situation, I think the individual would think 'I'm a bad father, I can't love my son and take care of him the way he needs. If I remain in his life I'll just make it worse for him in the long run so it's actually MORE sensitive to remove myself from his existence.'
I completely understand Gahoo. BUT just because you feel that way doesn't mean you are right and others should follow your view point.
In that situation, I think the individual would think 'I'm a bad father, I can't love my son and take care of him the way he needs. If I remain in his life I'll just make it worse for him in the long run so it's actually MORE sensitive to remove myself from his existence.'
Maybe my brain just can't grasp that kind of despair.
I'd have said it was the exact opposite of having a choice ... being in such a desperate place that you can see no alternative ...
Have you been in the situation?
a chap I worked with hanged himself because his job was (in his opinion) being devalued.
a week before he did it, I was talking to him and he just kept going on about how he could see no way out of the situation he was in and saying he'd rather be dead than let managers walk all over him in the way they were ... no-one thought for a second he actually meant that
While, like I said, I don't want to comment on individual cases, because a post on a forum about a person you don't know will never give you enough information, I find suicide cases like the ones Arthur described really bizarre. It's almost as if people think that they're playing a video game and, if you die, you can just push the reset button. Having said that, the mind of another human being is a strange place, and you can never really, truly, understand someone.
I just think for someone, anyone to be dead, no matter by what means, for a number of days before they are found is just horrible.
I know how hard that is to deal with Ben - but it does not mean that the person who died was unloved and neglected - he did choose his own end.
It happened to a friend this year - he died suddenly in his sleep and was not found for 7 days.
Two people called during the period, but did not get a reply to their knock so went away.
The person who found him was devastated, and we all felt awful that it happened - but he was not unloved and neglected, people did care and there was nothing we could have done to prevent the sad event.
So...today was the day of the funeral. Something I have only ever been to once before, and that was when my Grandad died, so it was a very emotional day and I can only remember snippets of it.
Lots of people turned out to the funeral, including family who had driven up from the south this morning and over 20 from his work. We went to the funeral parlour before the service, and his mum, estranged wife and eldest child went in to see him for one last time.
When we arrived at the crematorium, there were so many people there, and then utter, utter silence as the coffin was lifted out of the hearse.
The order of service included a couple of pictures of him as a child and on his last holiday - cue a tear in my eye, and in many others, but the thing that really got everyone crying was the letters that the three kids had written to their daddy :( Very sad indeed.
The most awful bit was at the end of the ceremony as the three children each lay a white rose on their dad's coffin, and then the wife, parents, grandmother and brother all filed past and out - really horrible moment.
Anyway, that is it. Done. Not a very nice day, and still no answers to be known. A diary was discovered but gives no hints as to how he was feeling in the run up to his death.
A tragic time, and only time will help things heal.
but the thing that really got everyone crying was the letters that the three kids had written to their daddy :( Very sad indeed.
I can imagine. What a difficult day for everyone, but then they have to do this for the rest of their lives. It must be hard enough if your father dies from accident, or a murder, but for him to choose to leave is even worse. Hope you're ok ben
but the thing that really got everyone crying was the letters that the three kids had written to their daddy :( Very sad indeed.
I can imagine. What a difficult day for everyone, but then they have to do this for the rest of their lives. It must be hard enough if your father dies from accident, or a murder, but for him to choose to leave is even worse. Hope you're ok ben
Grrr....just wrote a reply and it is lost :(
Yes, I am fine, thanks. I just get upset by seeing other people get so upset and my aunty was beside herself after the service. Was horrible. Everyone was crying loads, even grown men - which was nice, in a way.
It is also really awful that the kids (16, 12 and 8 (the 16yo was a step son, but considered his step-dad his real dad, rather than his biological father)) have no dad any more, just memories.
However, the service did end with a smile on everyone's face, as this was played on the way out...
