ever had sex with someone you didn't fancy, but went back for more because they were really good in bed?????
Nope.
Ok, to be more plain about this...your obviously getting hard in this guys company, so I guess something must be turning you on. If guys don't turn you on, then what is it during the session that is, again I don't believe you need a label, but am just confused when you say you don't find guys attractive, yet can have sex with them.
I guess it's because he knows his way around a man's body better than any woman i've ever met. And he can do things that a woman can't do... if you get my drift? I've used toys before, alone and with partners, but nothing comes close to the real thing.
I guess it's because he knows his way around a man's body better than any woman i've ever met. And he can do things that a woman can't do... if you get my drift? I've used toys before, alone and with partners, but nothing comes close to the real thing.
Fair enough, I just think that maybe you like guys more than you admit - however that is just my take on it, either way it doesn't matter if you do or don't - it really is your life. I guess I just don't know many 'straight' men who would jump into bed with a guy four times.
I guess I just don't know many 'straight' men who would jump into bed with a guy four times.
OMG - that's the point dude.....
Yes, that is my point too, you keep saying your straight, this may come across wrong, but are you sure you are!? I mean really! If you having sex with guys, I wouldn't class that as straight, while i agree people don't need labels, if you are going to give yourself one then should it not reflect what you actually are?
Do you foresee you carrying this on? Or is it over now? Do you wish to explore this with other guys?
I don't mean to sound all Kinsey, but isn't sexuality a continuum where gradual shifts can occur without making it an identity-changing event?
Catfordman, very brave of you to be so candid about this. In my own experience it sounds like what you are describing is an otherwise healthy expression of sexuality. Based on your self description of past expereince with toys, groups, and 'swinging'- you seem to have a varied and otherwise healthy experience. I know some will disagree, as some see sexuality as more aboslute- or even "act based". I respect that, but disagree. I think human nature is too complex- and situations and feelings surface that just don't fit the Straight-Bi-Gay boxes.
So, although I a no expert, I would say two things: Good for you for you for exploring the limits of your own world; that is in my experience where growth/actualisation comes from. Second: a single- or even serial- experience does not need to shift your core idea of yourself- unless you want/need it to. Be sure that you are being brutally honest with yourself about what this means to you. Come to terms with, even appreciate the experience, and feel free to move on.
Thanks for getting back to us Catfordman.
Okay, so it seems the issue is more about whether this is a midlife crisis and also how it's come as a shock to you.
Any change in your sex life can come as an exciting and sometimes troublesome event - more so as you age when you think you know yourself well. I've definitely spoken to people who decide to take up swinging, come out as gay, or also come out as straight when they are adults and most say it was something they had to take time to get their head around. Even folk who've been happily married for years where sex has got dull and suddenly go through an amazing patch of ranchy sex worry is this going to last, what will it lead to and is s/he about to have an affair?
All changes take time to adjust to. You have plenty of that. You also have people here to sound off with, in confidence and without judgment.
If you are worried about this being a midlife crisis is that because of what's already happened - or what could happen next? Just because you enjoyed great sex with a guy in Greece doesn't mean next week you have to be tied up in a dungeon by a leather clad daddy - unless you want to be :-)
Joking aside perhaps the two things to focus on are adjusting to what's happened - with the reassurance you're not unusual and people's sex lives can and do change throughout their lifespan. How you decide to take this is now down to you.
The second thing is how you view your situation. You could see it as a 'crisis' or perhaps a 'midlife adventure' or 'midlife exploration' might also suit? If those terms don't feel good then perhaps it's still worth thinking if you're 100% happy with what's going on.
Great sex aside, if it's causing you to feel worried in any way that's a sign for a pause and reflection on what's going on for you.
Be sure that you are being brutally honest with yourself about what this means to you. Come to terms with, even appreciate the experience, and feel free to move on.
I agree Carter, it should define you and its doesn't have to be a label, compeletly agree. However what was confusing me was that he called himself straight, so again I have highlighted the point above as this i also agree with.
Also, I agree with Carter about trying new things - well done for living a bit!
