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My mate has just found out he is going to be a dad, and obviously is extremely happy and excited about it - i got to listen to it all weekend :)
However he said that he felt (let me try to get this right), that its brought fulfilment to his life. He basically implied that without having a child a persons life is not fulfilled.
Now I argued this with him on many reasons, while I understand the excitement etc I also find it sad that he sees, as I am sure many do (?) lifes fulfilment as being a parent?
There are many people out there who can't/won't have children, for whatever reason - do you see there life as being less fulfilled?!
My mate has just found out he is going to be a dad, and obviously is extremely happy and excited about it - i got to listen to it all weekend :)
However he said that he felt (let me try to get this right), that its brought fulfilment to his life. He basically implied that without having a child a persons life is not fulfilled.
Now I argued this with him on many reasons, while I understand the excitement etc I also find it sad that he sees, as I am sure many do (?) lifes fulfilment as being a parent?
There are many people out there who can't/won't have children, for whatever reason - do you see there life as being less fulfilled?!
Somewhat yes. I see it as natural to have children, and even at 22 have always seen myself as having kids one day. It's unfortunate if you can't, and your choice if you don't want to. I guess it leaves your legacy (right word?!) to continue by having a kid.
I think it's one way to be fulfilled. I've got more enjoyment out of being with my little lad than anything a job/ travelling/ blowing boat loads of dough could offer. But that's just me. It takes all sorts.
I think that since having Jake I do feel more fulfilled, he brings me much joy.
I do think that not having kids (if you can) is a shame. If you think of the great line of ancestors you are ending. I feel it's kind of a duty to keep your 'tribe' going. Imagine if 1000 years ago one of your ancestors decided not to reproduce, you wouldn't be here. If you think of it, not having kids is like wiping your family tree, I see it as a shame.
I find it fulfilling for that area of my life yes. I am dedicated to my kids, but I think it would be dangerous to not try to fulfill any other area of your life just because you have kids.
I think they should be your No1 priority, but you should be high on your list too. Remember (hopefully) you have a lot of life to live once they have flown the nest. Also as ArtP says, they need space from you too.
I’m sure being a parent is wonderfully fulfilling. But I do think it’s dangerous to assume that you can only ever be ‘properly’ fulfilled if you pro-create.
For starters your mate LF is lucky enough to have a) found someone to pro-create with and b) that he/his partner is fertile. Another roll of the dice and things could be different for him.
I don’t know if I will have kids, but if I don’t then I’m damn sure I won’t be going to my grave lamenting how unfulfilled my life was – there are many other ways to be fulfilled, through friends, through personal interests, relationships, sport, family, travel etc etc!
Like Saint says, you've a lot of life to live once your kids are 18 and gone.
I’m sure being a parent is wonderfully fulfilling. But I do think it’s dangerous to assume that you can only ever be ‘properly’ fulfilled if you pro-create.
That was really my point on it too Peg. I just got angry that he seemed to think life wasn't fulfilled if you didn't have kids, while I want kids, what if I never have them, can't have them? Does that mean my life was worth less?
He was also saying this in front of my other mate who is trying, for the last 3 months for a kid, with no luch - as yet.
