You seem a nice guy. I think you are making excuses. I think we have a need for testicular enhancement.

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ok, gonna leave it till Sunday or Monday, then will call this time and just chat, maybe see about meeting up for a coffee or doing something, I guess if the answer to that one is no, then I am gonna be giving up shortly after that. If we do meet up I will bring up the just being friends question.

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If the answer to meeting up is no, then I think it's safe to say give up.

Re-read DrP's last post.

Don't approach it from the 'friends' route. You don't want to be her friend, you want to be her boyfriend again. She needs to know this.

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So, you're really pushing her to see you as soon as she possibly can on the first day/evening that she's got free. I honestly think you should step back and leave a few days, but preferably a week or more.

If I were her, I can promise you that you would be getting on my nerves by now and your texts would start to annoy as you're pestering. If you want to get back with her then I don't think you're going the right way about it, you're just too much!

Please note/remember I'm female:-)

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Hey all,

Sorry havn't been around for a while, but thought I would update this thread...

Well things have been ok, we haven't been in contact at all really, but when I was out at the weekend I decided to drop her a text, this was while I was on the piss (though not drunk) with some mates, she texted back to say she was just back from pictures with her mate and was just about to jump into bed, couple of texts later I text asking if she wanted to meet for dinner sometime, to which she replied sure, bit busy this week, but if not def next week.

To be honest, I started the texting with the intention of being friends, but I can't lie there is still some feelings there for her, I just can't seem to get her out of my mind, I have had a couple of flings since, but everytime I always think of her and what she was upto etc.

I really would like to just move on from this, but can't help wonder why I feel so strong for her, I have never ever felt like this before. Its been nearly 9 months now - while its go a bit easier, I wish it would just go.

I guess a small part of me does hope that one day maybe something will happen between us again and this time I won't be so stupid, but failing that I don't know.

Anyways, I text the next day to say she could let me know a day - still haven't heard anything, I am sure in time I will, I am not forcing the dinner thing, just thought it mite be nice to keep in touch, its been since May last time, not with a hope of getting back together this time, but more a hope of either I will see I don't fancy her anymore when in her company or that If I do then maybe something may happen, not now, but at somepoint - I am most likely kidding myself.

Anyways, we will see, but I am really unsure how to proceed on this one, I know most people would say its best to walk away, I would be the same, and tbh I have done, but why do I still feel this way!?

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Hi mate, it's not one or the other I don't think. You can keep your options open with this person but not stop looking for someone else. Are you out and about and meeting new people? A wider social circle opens up possibilities.

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Hey

Yeah for sure, at first I really tired to get my head into other stuff, go out with mates, do stuff, keep busy with work etc.

But I just don't know if she ever feels we will be anything again, I won't be asking, she did say last time there was no reason why not, just she wasn't sexually attracted to me anymore - sometimes attraction comes back, I am not living the stupid life, I know sometimes it doesn't.

I just wish I could get over it and completely move on.

I have tried to figure out why I feel the way I do after such a long time and I can't. Looking back now I can see many thing I think I done wrong and can understand her point on things, thats what gets to me too, I don't think we seen the true person in each other, I know I can be very closed and that, so it can come across all wrong, it was my own fault the amount of times she told me she liked me and I didn't give much back.

There are other stuff, but its pointless going into it. It does get me down sometimes still, which again is so not like me, I normally get up brush myself down and walk on - hardly ever looking back.

In part I am worried that I will never find someone like her.

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Well that's just human nature I guess. You had a good thing or the promise of one and it's hard to let go. The more the focus on it the worse it'll get. I'd concentrate instead on other interests and other people and it'll be easier not to focus on her. If she comes back fine, if not you've lost nothing.

You won't find anyone like her while you're focused on her.

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Hey guys,

Well time has moved on with me and this thread.

Its funny though, I still miss her a lot, but not as much, I know now it certainly seems over.

I think for me the hardest part is knowing that I done things wrong and even being friends doesn't seem to have happened. I think that hardest part for me was that this breakup may have been down to so many things I could have caused, I recently broke up with an 'x' before getting into this relationship and she really messed my head, anyway I never really explained that or anything else to the new partner.

But funnily enough, I had been thinking of writing a letter, and read the other 'I don't know what to do' thread. Its been a long while since we broke up now, but I guess I just wanted to put down on paper why I think things went wrong, I also just want her to know that even as a friend she means the world to me. I accept its over and don't expect to get back together, but just feel a note to her may let me explain all those things I couldn't in the past. If being honest I was going to hold off till nearer xmas and just drop it with a card and her present.

I don't know if its the right thing to do, or if she may take it the wrong way, or just see it as being needy or whatever, like I said its not a 'lets get back together' note, its more 'time has passed by and I feel to allow me to close this year I just wanted you to know, note'

Is this just a really bad idea!

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I think you should write it, but not send it.

Put it somewhere safe and see if you still want to send it in a month.

It's been quite a long time and from what you said about being friends I'm assuming you haven't been in touch at all??

I'm just not convinced this is going to help either of you!

For example what if she doesn't respond at all?

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