Jedi Council members Anakin Skywalker (voiced by Matt Lanter) and Obi Wan Kenobi (James Arnold Taylor) are dispatched into the galaxy to find the missing son of gangster Jabba the Hutt.
They soon discover the kidnapper responsible, Count Dooku (Christopher Lee), who has instigated a conflict between the Galactic Republic, the Confederacy of Independent Systems and now the Hutts.
Set between live action prequels Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Seth, this is an Anime style cartoon feature that it is hoped will salvage the world's biggest space opera - one that has been so bad for so long, it's hard to remember when it was last any good.
They say:
Empire: “Not the seventh Star Wars film fans were hoping for.”
Total Film: “It’s no patch on Pixar.”
Variety: “A quick fix for die hard fans.”
We say:
Star Wars: The Clone Wars doesn't have a promising intro. The traditional story crawl is replaced by a 1940s style newsreel voiceover and the main theme is now a jazzed up medley. Then, as you abandon all hope and consider getting an early start on the traffic, it suddenly gets better.
The initial Jedi/ droid battle is innovatively directed - the FX bangs and that guy impersonating Ewan McGregor really does sound a lot like him. But then that's it, you realise you may have already seen the best of the film and it's only been on for five minutes. It's a long way to go yet.
Apparently for George Lucas this Clone Wars picture is almost an afterthought. The tale goes, he was editing his new television show of the same name, noticed how pretty the animation looked on the big screen and mused, 'I haven't done anything to annoy Star Wars fans this week, why not make another movie?'.
Thing is, he didn't direct this particular effort, or write it. Of course that's the official line, yet his messy beard hair gets everywhere.
For example, the kidnapped baby Jabba plot. It's predictably bizarre and wouldn't hold together an A4 side of fan fiction. Definitely classic Lucas. He can complain all he wants that Star Wars was only ever meant for children, but he doesn't treat them as such. If this extended TV episode is meant for kids, then why is it so flipping boring?
OK, the lightsaber duels are thrilling, so is opening a can of drink if you're thirsty enough. There’s such endless blab between fights that even the occasional appearance of Jabba the Hutt is a highpoint. His camp Uncle Ziro with purple make up and a Peter Lorre accent, not so much.
The animation is similarly only distracting in a bad way. It's fluid, though too dreary and blocky. Obi Wan Kenobi looks like he's been carved out of wood.
And finally there's the humour - that old Lucas thorn he so wilfully stabbed into the prequels' side. The aforementioned baby Jabba, nicknamed 'Punky Muffin' by his dad, is not the worst of it either. Try the sarcastic droids ('That'll work') or Anakin's lippy female apprentice, crafted so much like an American teenager she may as well be carrying a mobile and chewing gum.
Lump in too that the Clone Wars themselves actually seem a bit of a laugh (weren’t they supposed to be horrific or something?) and there's enough humour here to last forever in the Star Wars universe. Which brings us conveniently back to the running time - which, battle after repeated battle, is about fifteen times too long.
As Yoda might put it, this film avoid if any sense you have. Rubbish it is.
CAST
Matt Lanter
James Arnold Taylor
Christopher Lee
Samuel L Jackson
DIRECTOR
Dave Filoni
TIME
98 mins
POSTED...
Sat 16 Aug 2008 at 11:15am
