As the big 5-0 fast approaches, you’d think Madonna – one time style icon, pop chameleon and world’s worst female actress – would want to slow things down, occupy her time with yoga classes and pseudo intellectual dinner parties with Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin.
But as always, Madge craves relevancy like a junkie craves crack cocaine and for her 11th studio album, Hard Candy (the follow up to 2005’s Confessions on a Dance Floor which debuted at No. 1 in 30 countries and sold over 8 million copies), she has surrounded herself with some of the hippest collaborators in pop world today, including Timbaland, Kanye West, Pharrell Williams of the Neptunes and Nate “Danja” Hills. Oh and Justin Timberlake.
“I just love their records”, she says. “I had to get into their heads and their wavelength – let go a little bit. I’m so used to control and order.
“The title is a juxtaposition of tough and sweetness… kind of like I’m gonna kick your ass but it’s going to make you feel good. And of course, I love candy.”
They say:
BBC: “It’s almost like they threw everything at the wall to see what would stick, without realising it was a very sticky wall.”
Telegraph: “Sweet and a bit naughty, but forgettably flavourless.”
The Times: “You rather feel like you’re in your fifth hour at the Ambassador’s famous party. Great, but is there anything else on offer other than Ferrero sodding Rochers?”
We say:
The hype machine had billed Hard Candy as Madonna’s first R&B album since the warm, deep grooves of Bedtime Stories. But the truth is there are only two tracks that fall into this urban genre, and neither of them would have made it past quality control and onto the aforementioned 1994 long player.
Album opener ‘Candy Shop’ is positively embarrassing, with the veteran pop tart urging the object of her desire to “come into my store because my sugar is sweet” accompanied by Pharrell’s over fussy production. Unlike, say, Christina Aguilera’s similarly themed hit ‘Candyman’, the lyrics here feel forced and the music cold.
The Timbaland/ Danja/ Timberlake produced ‘4 Minutes’, meanwhile, suffers a similar fate, all lifeless, generic marching band beats and contrived lyrics that reek of desperation as Madonna attempts to defy the weight of time and appeal to a younger demographic more than half her age.
The bulk of Hard Candy concerns itself with perfunctory dance pop, retracing Madonna’s ‘80s disco steps (the ‘Into the Groove’ referencing ‘Heartbeat’) and her collaborations with William Orbit and Mirwais with added stock club beats (‘Miles Away’, ‘Voices’).
However, aside from the surprisingly sublime ‘Miles Away’ and futuristic electro ballad ‘Devil Wouldn’t Recognise You’, mouth watering hooks are very much a rare occurrence.
It’s an album that's hard to recommend – mechanical, flavourless, and about as sexy as a slightly mad, intoxicated aunt hitting the dance floor.
Like this? Try these:
Gwen Stefani – The Sweet Escape
Justin Timberlake – FutureSex/ LoveSounds
Nelly Furtado – Loose
RELEASED
28th Apr ‘08
LABEL
Warner
POSTED...
Tue 29 Apr at 12:22am
