I really don't think it's fair for someone to dictate who you do and don't see. The only situations I can see it being an issue are for example if the girl had been making a play for my boyfriend (imaginary one of course!) In which case I'd be suspect about him seeing her one on one as it would only ecourage her.
My ex had a fair few female friends, and I used to have issued when I was in my teens but soon grew out of it.
I am talking about those friendships you have, that seem to fall off when the friend gets involved with someone.
I have been thinking about this recently, and in one of Apple's threads yesterday I posted this:
Ben wrote:
One of my newer friends, one with whom we both have had a load of 'OMG rant monents' about various aspects of our lives over the last year, or so, has just got hooked up with someone, and our contact has become less recently. It feels as if he can only really talk to me, on the phone, when not with the new other half. It pisses me off a bit, but I don't want to bring it up to seem too demanding or needy, but it kindof grates that I will ring and get an answerphone, when I know they arejust sitting watching TV, or whatever
I might bring it up, but need a sensible, reasoned way to do it.....
The guy in question I have known for just over a year, and in that time we have become really good friends: we probs were speaking on the phone every two or three days, with both of us initiating the calls in about equal measure.
We also used to see each other for a night out/meal/drinks every couple of weeks, either just the two of us, or as a group with some of his other friends.
In October he started to see this guy, and from then on, the contact that we now have is becoming less frequent - often when I call, his phone just rings to answerphone, and then he rings me back the next day, saying he was with Bob.
When he does ring it is always when Bob is at work, as if he isn't allowed, or doesn't feel comfortable to speak to me when they are together.
How do I, or should I even, bring this up in conversation to say that I feel as if our friendship is growing apart, but without it sounding needy?
Ok, so I eventually met the man, Bob, the night before the Manc drinkies. My friend and I went out for a meal and a catch up first and then on to Bob's house, and he was a bit how I expected: what I would describe as 'affected.'
Everything is a bit of an issue - he has to have champagne before he goes out, and all the empty bottles were lined up, by brand along his kichen cupboard tops. HE has professional pics of himself and his mum/sisters all over the place. All a bit self important for me!
The best bit was the near hysteria when his (fit) friend arrived and the mirrored tray and coasters were not out (FFS! It's a one bedroom flat with a combi lounge-kitchen).
He seems a nice enough guy, but I can't help feeling that the relationship between the two of them just doesn't feel right to me, but hopefully I will be proven wrong! I think we will get on, but he just doesn't seem my type to end up being bessie mates with him...
But like it or not, your friend likes Bob, so you'll just have to bite your tongue and try to get along. As for friend not meeting you if it upsets bob,well, there isn't really much you can do but hope he grows some balls.
Sorry Ben, but massive LOL at your description of Bob.
Was it the mirrored tray and coaster bit?!
Try being there and having to live through the moment without laughing uncontrollably!!
You mean you didn't? Poor show, I would have laughed, and had friend laughing. Bob sounds like a complete tosser to me (and not in a Shrove Tuesday sort of way!)
