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I don't cry very often in front of people- and when I have I've felt like a self pitying twat.
Bar, interesting thoughts. I've done without the drugs and drink before and ended up self harming in the extreme and was in an utter mess. One self destructive coping method goes, another appears.
I think the crux of it is I need to confront the central issue which pretty clearly is what happened to me. Can you even do that on your own do you think?
It's a shame if you are feeling attacked on here Apple. I think the volume of responses may, perhaps, indicate that rather than wanting to criticise you, people would like to help you - or at least see you feeling better about yourself.
I have previously recommended professional support for you in the form of counselling, and continue to see that as one way forward. If it's something you feel might help you that could be a sign this is something that may work well for you now.
Your GP can refer you to a counsellor, although there can be a waiting list. Alternatively you can refer yourself via the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy. The former option is usually free, but short term. The latter is paid for but most therapists offer a sliding scale of costs. In a situation related to childhood experiences you may find you're offered a longer period of therapy - if required. If your GP is not sympathetic about this, ask to speak to someone else in the practice.
And if you want more information on what may happen within therapy feel free to ask - some site members have already been through it so can recommend it.
Counselling may not always be the option, and certainly just because someone has a few ONS's it's not a sign they should head straight to therapy. But if you are distressed and finding it hard to cope, then having someone independent to talk to can be a real bonus.
For highly personal issues a forum can be fantastic. But it can also mean there's opportunity for confusion, judgement and people not always giving you the support you want at the time you need it. That doesn't mean you can't post here (or get support on other sites) but for major issues there should always be additional and professional help sought - which can in turn make it a lot easier to hear input from other folks - should you then want it.
I'm sure I'm not speaking out of turn when I say we're all wishing you well, and are concerned about you.
