I've had a tough time since my gran died last year. She died after suffering from cancer and had plenty of treatment.

When i think about her all i can remember is her being ill and the funeral etc and it tears me up.

Will this ever stop?

Anyone else had similar problems?

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Dad and all grandparents dead.

I find I just have an empty space where they used to be.

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That does sound really sad - and everybody's experience is going to be different.

The thing that stands out for me, is that you are focused on the illness and the death which is a relatively small part of that person. Yes, it's the bit you remember, but what about all the other times she was a part of your life? Do you ever remember those?

Is this the first time you have lost a family member or person close to you? Often people take the cues from the family - has everybody else responded in the same way? Can you talk to your family about it.

I've been an orphan for fifteen years ('orphan' does sound a bit odd at my age, but it's a technical term), and I still think of my parents regularly, but it is normally a positive feeling. I'm not sure how long it took me to get to that stage though.

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Aww Stu.

It does get easier and the illness stops being the thing you think of when you remember them. For a long time I always focused on what it was like watching her die and holding her hands in those last moments. I can still feel exactly how she felt when I went to see her body. But I'm glad I was there for her (as she died)

I cried my eyes out on my 21st birthday because I really wanted my nan to be there and feel proud of me. It does get more managable.

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