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i can not get an erection, do to blood pressure tablets, can any think be done?
Thanks for your post pegasus - Dr Petra will answer you shortly.
Hi Will, should not this be a question for Dr. Keith ? A proper medical doctor, not an academic.
Dr Petra covers psychosexual disorders and sexual health while Dr Keith covers medical issues. Where there's overlap they advise on each others answers.
Ok, this is a long story but the upshot is my mum has hydrocephalus with a VP shunt, plus many ither medical problems. She's 58, but due to ailments is more like an OAP, living alone in a council house. She is going through a cycle of having a fall, going into hospital, having a fall, going into hospital. She is in hopital now, she was at home 9 days. It is getting very hard for me and my wife to have to keep dealing with this (I have no other family). Any help suggestions? There is much more background to the story, I can fill in later.
Sorry to hear about this matey. My only suggestion is that you talk to the hospital staff and ask them to signpost you to any support networks and services in your area that specialise in your mum's problems. I'm sure that the hospital will already be making assessments about your mum's ability to return home, so asking them about this is a logical step. You shouldn't have to face this alone; you need expert advice and help. Please don't be afraid to ask questions; I know hospitals are busy places, but they will guide you if you ask. Support is not just for the patient but for the relatives, too. From personal experience, I know how tough it is when we have to become carers to our folks; we want the best for them but feel unskilled and often at a bit of a loss. Don't get too stressed; there should be support groups who can help you sort this out.
Good luck, and let's know how things are going.
Thanks dalesman.
My question, I realise my post was lacking a real question, is about medical and social services. Who takes responsability? My Mum needs more care to stop her falling and to ensure important stuff like drink and food and sleeping times are regulated. Do the doctors dictate that a minimum amount of help is required or is this down to social services?
Also how do people cope with this? The management of change in business is an interesting topic which I am learning in my part time degree (additional stress, in my final year!). But how do people cope with the change from stubborn parents who are convinced they can cope to parents relenquishing independance and show signs of institutionalisation?
We sort of went through this with my dad, who understandably went into deep depression after my mum died (after 53 years of marriage). He had had cancer as well as mum, and could not cope on his own (although he initially thought he could).
We tried a local 'home help' service managed by the council, but it was not enough for his medical needs, and eventually it was his decision to go into a full care nursing home (at £1,800 a month!). After he went into the nursing home, he never mentioned mum at all, nor wondered where the money was coming from to pay the fees. He died there, 15 months after mum.
There are different levels of care (and care homes) depending on the needs of the patient.
My sister got the worst of trying to care for him at home, as she lived in the same village and she eventually was cracking up under the strain.
Of course the ideal thing is for family to care for elderly parents, as they seem to do in other countries in Europe, but we all have our own lives and responsibilites.
Ensure that you have a social worker allocated to your mothers case by the local council, pester them to ensure that they evaluate her needs. If a decision is made that she needs more care, then it would be better if a decision to go into care came from your mum. It's not a prison and they are often free to come and go depending on their state of mind and body.
Social services have to assess both the client and the carers. NO one assumes that the family will be ever present. Assessments should take into consideration all the elements involved.
What is a big issue these days is the boundary between local authority help and nursing. Funding is different depending on the type of need.
Vulnerable people at home can have those alarm things around their necks to press when they are in trouble. They can be a big help and reassurance.
What ever happens.... it should be her choice of course, but you will want to be involved too.I think that these are awfully difficult choices and decisions. I watch my parents with a very wary eye as they are edging towards 80.
