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Talk / Time off / Chatting / Suicide

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By Ben, Mon 23 Jun at 8:42pm 
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Apologies in advance if this turns in to bit of a ramble/rant/whatever, but we have just had a phone call to tell us that my godmother's son hung himself yesterday. These are my parent's best friends and their son has killed himself.

What can be so terrible in life that you can't contemplate living anymore, especially when you have three children. I don't really know what to think - despair, selfishness....

He was recently split from his partner, after a fairly up/down relationship and she lived with the children: two of them theirs, and one from her previous relationship that was like his own son.

I didn't really know him that well, but it is just such an absolute fucking waste and leaves such a mess behind. I can't even begin to imagine what my godmother must be going through: she is the type of person who would do anything for anyone, so why does someone so lovely have to deal with somethign like this?

Obviously I don't know any details, as it has only happened today, but the shock is awful. Terrible waste of a life.

How on earth are people meant to recover from something like this? With an illness, you can prepare for the possibility of death. With an accident, you know the reason why the person died. Blame can be apportioned in both instances. But this, who knows? You never know.

It's just tragic.

I don't really know what else to say. My Mum is really upset, and that's made me upset - I don't want to go downstairs cos I know I will cry.

I am just so sad for my poor aunty.

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Re: Suicide

By Dan Miskzuecf, Mon 23 Jun at 8:46pm 
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Sorry about all this, Ben.

RE suicide. I've been there, and sometimes you just get so caught up with a problem that it just takes over you and you can't see a way past it. You can't sleep, you stop eating, life seems hopeless (which is the worst thing, IMO) and you think, yeah, why not? Thinking about doing it actaully gives you a buzz, and so on.

I agree, tho, it is such a waste. Try and stay strong for your mum.

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Re: Suicide

By beads, Mon 23 Jun at 8:53pm 
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Oh Ben, how horrible for everyone.

It's very difficult to get inside the mind of someone as depressed and self absorbed as that.

Would crying with your mum be such a bad thing?

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Re: Suicide

By Ben, Mon 23 Jun at 9:03pm 
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beads wrote:



Would crying with your mum be such a bad thing?



No - I think we are both ok now, it is just the sheer shock of the event.

It's also horrible to think that a set of parents have to bury their child, and a grandmother her grandson - things that people shouldn't have to do. And that you open your door to a set of police officers bearing bad news: he hadn't been seen/heard of since Friday and was found in his house earlier today, after the police broke in. Awful.

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Re: Suicide

By beads, Mon 23 Jun at 9:08pm 
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Ben wrote:

beads wrote:



Would crying with your mum be such a bad thing?



No - I think we are both ok now, it is just the sheer shock of the event.

It's also horrible to think that a set of parents have to bury their child, and a grandmother her grandson - things that people shouldn't have to do. And that you open your door to a set of police officers bearing bad news: he hadn't been seen/heard of since Friday and was found in his house earlier today, after the police broke in. Awful.



That is awful... and they'll wonder why they didn't realise and what else they could have done. :-(

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Re: Suicide

By Phoenix, Mon 23 Jun at 9:09pm 
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Ben wrote:

...... leaves such a mess behind. I can't even begin to imagine what my godmother must be going through: she is the type of person who would do anything for anyone, so why does someone so lovely have to deal with somethign like this?



You make it sound like the person involved made a rational choice and weighed the pros and cons.

I don't know anyone who has committed or attempted to commit suicide, although I seem to know a ridiculously large number of people with clinical depression. I think your thought processes just get stuck in a rut, going round and round in the same feedback loop of despair. There is just absolutely no other option left in their mind.

Sorry for you and your family Ben. The people left behind have to somehow pick up the pieces and try and make sense of it, but sometimes there just isn't any.

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Re: Suicide

By Noffles, Mon 23 Jun at 9:12pm 
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It is sad... I wonder what is going through the persons head when they are going through with something like this...??

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Re: Suicide

By Ben, Mon 23 Jun at 9:12pm 
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Phoenix wrote:

Ben wrote:

...... leaves such a mess behind. I can't even begin to imagine what my godmother must be going through: she is the type of person who would do anything for anyone, so why does someone so lovely have to deal with somethign like this?



You make it sound like the person involved made a rational choice and weighed the pros and cons.



I was meaning more in the way of: 'why does life have to throw this at someone?' Teamed with the fact that my uncle has been very ill, and made disabled the lat couple of years, it seems they have so much to deal with. I just worry about how she will cope with everything that is going on.

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Re: Suicide

By Ben, Mon 23 Jun at 9:15pm 
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Noffles wrote:

It is sad... I wonder what is going through the persons head when they are going through with something like this...??



I think there can only be sheer desperation...

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Re: Suicide

By Noffles, Mon 23 Jun at 9:16pm 
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Ben wrote:

Noffles wrote:

It is sad... I wonder what is going through the persons head when they are going through with something like this...??



I think there can only be sheer desperation...



I can't even contemplate what they are thinking... it's scary.

But I'm sorry for your family having to deal with this...

N'

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