It is sad... I wonder what is going through the persons head when they are going through with something like this...??
I think there can only be sheer desperation...
but a sense of control and the feeling that there might be an end to it all. Once people make up their minds, they can seem much more relaxed and almost 'happy'.
I was meaning more in the way of: 'why does life have to throw this at someone?'
Oh I see,. sorry. I don't know. There is a muslim saying that God never puts more on someone than they can bear, that they must never despair of life because that means they despair of God. It's horrible that this person felt (rightly or wrongly) that no one could help them.
I guess all you can do is try and make more of an effort to show your friends and family and colleagues that you are there for them so that they never feel the same, but it's difficult to find anything in this sort of tragedy.
@Dan - sorry if this is intruding, do you mind if I ask, did you actually attempt suicide?
Sorry to hear about this mate, my family have had to deal with suicide twice and in my opinion the part which takes longest to come to terms with is the not knowing why/how they have come to feel this desperation that they feel death is the only way out.
It is sad... I wonder what is going through the persons head when they are going through with something like this...??
I think there can only be sheer desperation...
but a sense of control and the feeling that there might be an end to it all. Once people make up their minds, they can seem much more relaxed and almost 'happy'.
I know a bit of what you mean: as well as desperation, I also believe there must be feelings of release, bravery and selfishness.
It is sad... I wonder what is going through the persons head when they are going through with something like this...??
I think there can only be sheer desperation...
but a sense of control and the feeling that there might be an end to it all. Once people make up their minds, they can seem much more relaxed and almost 'happy'.
I know a bit of what you mean: as well as desperation, I also believe there must be feelings of release, bravery and selfishness.
yes, elements of lots of things I expect... and none of them good.
Condolences Ben, but I'll make any comment after the funeral unless you don't mind, because I've been in a ranty mood myself these past few weeks and don't want to come across as generalising about people I don't know and have never met.
I was meaning more in the way of: 'why does life have to throw this at someone?'
@Dan - sorry if this is intruding, do you mind if I ask, did you actually attempt suicide?
No, it's fine mate. I had my method of suicide in front of me, and arranged, so don't know if you'd call that an actual attempt. Maybe some people would.
A few months after that point, I went out with a girl from work. She had a beauty mark next to her nose, and when I said that I liked it, she said she hated it and that she'd took an overdose because she used to get bullied at school with people calling her cocopop face and stuff. Her mum found her and she had her stomach pumped and got saved, but it just goes to show how about suicide. It's a very individual thing, and I feel people who commit suicide get unfairly judged sometimes.
Well OK Dan I can answer that (your first post) - in the absence of a suicide note, there is a total vacuum for those left behind and a different type of judgement based on an immediate reaction will take the place of any explanation.
It's not fair, but then what's left for the relatives to do, celebrate your life in the same way as if you'd been killed by disease/natural causes?
Despite my history, maybe I was too angry or busy or bloody minded to seriously contemplate suicide as I got older, I've almost preferred the struggle and the besting people that were making me feel that bad and giving crap back to people who tried to mess me around after that.
if someone does get to that point suicide is often what they perceve to be the only way out, to end what must be unimaginable suffering. my best friend committed suicide and still there isnt a day go by I dont think about them - they just couldnt go on faced with that staggering amount of pain. I'll have to throw my hat in with Dan and admit I thought about it once and had also planned it all out - its like being at the bottom of a hole you cant climb out of. you can see everyone else go on with their lives above you, but you;re just stuck under, trapped and alone. I've never felt anger towards my mate, just voids of pity and sorrow they they suffered so much and that was their only recourse.
But did your mate talk to you or anyone else about the reason for taking his life, Ender? I know of people at my end of the abuse spectrum that did hit drugs and commit suicide, albeit in other countries.
I knew I wasn't talking to family and essentially vetted my mates to see who I'd talk to and I've been 99% successful with those choices. When counselling either didn't work or addressed a different topic, I tried again rather than giving up, and have been obliged to push myself even further with one therapist retiring and so working in a different direction.
I just had the view that the bastards in my life would all win if I took myself out in that way having let them grind me down. So maybe I just channelled my anger outward rather than inward which stopped me sliding down the slope to suicide. Can't think of any other reason.
