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@suedeheadscot ; thanks mate, nice to know other survivors read these boards.
@Apple; considering it's a brand new therapist and we're at square one, re-read the thread from the start, that's how it's coming across to me, but all I'm bothered about is being able to hold it together to get another job, that's how I keep my home at the end of the day. The counselling's helped my confidence with job applications though there's been lots of stop and start which I want to make more consistent, I've planned two social trips and am determined to make sure I'm not losing time in between.
That worked today with a to-do list of things to do which I completed. Group also restarted at the end of March with a really productive meeting which continued after the official one ended, with all new faces.
Day off on Friday and can't wait, got loads of other stuff to do as well as jobhunting so will get on with it. Really too busy to feel hassled with the past and that's how I like it, it means I'm getting on
Perfect night to make the update but when we hit 20 posts to go, someone else can bump them up, I think I've posted more today than during my entire membership of MS!
Brave stuff DoubleNine. I didn't realise this thread was here until you posted just now. My other half suffered abuse as a child so it's comforting for her to know she's not alone.
Thanks Proplus, hopefully counselling has done for her what it's done for me and if not, just show her the whole thread, the way I feel now compared to Xmas 06 is like night and day.
I don't consider myself "there" yet but I'm thinking about the rest of my life in a way I'd never wanted to do before. There are still bad days and I just got past one financial near miss that wouldn't have come up had I not been taking care of myself as intended but the week off will let me catch up my reading on the subject.
It was actually a family member who did it to her. She's only told me and her closest friend and refuses to go for any sort of counselling. I just try to be there for her when she needs me. I'd like her to go to some sort of counselling as it does cause problems but I'm wary of forcing the issue or bringing it up when things are good.
You're a special man ProPlus, abuse victims/survivors don't make themselves easy to love, I didn't even want friends too close until I learned to trust again, but it's also helped with those little shakeouts that happen along the way when people you thought were friends, turn out to be just using you.
Something will happen in your partner's life and she'll get counselling when she's ready, I didn't have the incest aspect weighing me down even further than I could have gone. Various people posted some links to sites some of which should be unisex, so check back.
What I will say is, my Sapphire team were great, if she ever does want to make it a police matter.
No worries ProPlus, finally managed to completely empty my schedule ahead of double therapy at the end of the month after letting it get full in April and May, it's good to have the calm before the 48 hours of running around and trying to cram in the rest of my life on two travelcards.
Still, maybe I should view my moody PC as a distraction project to take my mind of things...!
HI
I joined this site after i read your post because i wanted to reply to you. I am aware that seeing the date of your post you may have already made your decision about informing work. But what i wanted to say is that i suffered emotional, physical abuse from my mum from being a baby till around the age of 8- 10yr. Then i suffered sexual assaults for three years from what i thought at the time were friends which led to years of violent rapes and gang rapes. I too buried my head in work, and anything that i could. I have had counselling for 6 years and have tried various therapists. I have improved in myself, but i still have nightmares, wet the bed, an eating disorder, and great difficulty making friends.
Then i became a counsellor as this seems the best way to hide what i have been through and i am able to empathise with others, i have strict supervision to make sure i am working ethically and that my own stuff doesn't come into the sessions.
I now have a new therapist who is a strategic therapist which seems to be helping a bit more.
Now i am not saying go and be a therapist but it is possible to carry on even though times can be really tough. The pain that you might feel for what happened to you will never go away, but it will become easier to manage and cope with. When i struggle to manage/cope then i use meditation cd's (guided ones so my own thoughts don't intervene too much) this seems to give my inner strength a boost.
So please don't ever give up otherwise that is when the people who did these things win. It's that thought that keeps me going.
